The Surprising Truth I Found in My Camera Drawer

The slow, uncertain, and totally addictive return to analogue.

There are days when I wake up feeling like Marie Kondo with a caffeine rush. I suddenly want to organise my entire life: my hard drives, my gear, my thoughts, my existence. I imagine colour-coded drawers, cable-free desks, a minimal camera setup. But this vision usually lasts no more than 20–25 minutes. After that, the real me returns with a vengeance and a stream of thoughts like: Do I need to switch my entire Fuji setup to another brand? Should I finally make that zine? Did I send that invoice?

But this time… I did it. I actually followed through and reorganised the drawers where I keep all my photography gear. And what I discovered honestly shocked me: I own more film cameras and analogue-related equipment than digital.

It wasn’t on purpose. It’s just that over the years, friends and family have donated their old cameras to me. I've made some lucky finds on eBay and at charity shops. I guess it all quietly accumulated.

Most of my paid work as a photographer, fashion, e-commerce, events, lives in the digital world. Fast turnaround, high volumes, clients who wanted the photos yesterday. So I've never had the luxury of really using film professionally. But ever since I moved to London nearly a decade ago, I’ve noticed a slow, steady desire building inside me: to shoot more film. And as that desire grew, so did my film camera collection.

If I dig a little deeper, I think it started as a way to reconnect with my creative roots. When I first fell in love with photography, it was through film, not by choice, but because I had to for an exam. But before I even delivered that portfolio, I was already carrying my film camera everywhere, stopping randomly on countryside roads just to capture something I found beautiful (to the delight, I'm sure, of every driver behind me). But when I moved to London, I didn’t have the money, time, or courage to indulge in that kind of expensive escapism. Slowly, though, that urge to “go back” became more than nostalgia, it became a need to question myself again.

I even started taking a film camera on holidays, even though I knew my digital would still be the main workhorse. The film roll was never there for safety, it was there because I wanted to shoot some places just in film.

And no, this isn't one of those “film looks better, digital sucks” manifestos. It’s deeper than that. Film forces you to slow down (we all know that). You notice how you frame, you feel the shutter more. Each frame is a decision. And that slowness is exactly what I crave. Probably because I work in fashion, a world that moves fast, demands faster, and rarely gives you time to pause.

I’ve never been interested in those “Instagram-worthy” landmark shots, the ones that look like they belong in a travel agency catalogue. Technically impressive? Sure. Emotionally impactful? Not for me. They all blur into each other. What I search for is something less polished, more human, maybe even a little melancholic. Let’s say I specialise in “sad views”: quiet corners, faded light, moments that don’t scream but hum.

So maybe the reason I’m shooting more film lately isn’t about the look of it. It’s about the emotional feel. Every time I load a roll, I’m asking myself questions again. How do I want this to look? What am I actually trying to say? Can I pull this off? There’s something humbling about putting your skills on the line like that. Film doesn't lie or flatter. It challenges you.

This tension, between “I want to do this” and “oh god, can I actually do this?”, might be exactly why I’m so drawn to it. It fuels me. Keeps me curious. Keeps me honest.

I don’t think I’ll ever be only a film photographer. I'd love to be, but right now I’m not ready. Still, I want to integrate it more and more into my personal work, and maybe, when the right client comes along, into my commissioned projects too. It’s not the most practical path, and definitely not the cheapest. But it’s something I want to keep doing for as long as I can. It’s officially on my life’s to-do list.

So, yes, I’m shooting more film than digital lately. And it all started with a drawer clean-out.

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